I remember the exact moment it hit me.
I had just been promoted to Senior Editor. The email went out to the whole company, congratulations poured in, and my slack notifications were buzzing with “Well deserved!” messages. But instead of pride, a cold knot tightened in my stomach.
I sat at my desk, staring at the screen, thinking: “They made a mistake. I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s only a matter of time before they find out I’m a total fraud.”
Does that sound familiar?
If you have ever felt like you are just “faking it” despite tangible evidence of your success, you are dealing with imposter syndrome. It is that nagging voice telling you that you don’t belong in the room, even when your name is on the door.
In this SoulDairy Life Record, we are going to dismantle that fear. We will explore why high-achievers suffer the most, the specific type of imposter you might be, and exactly how to silence that inner critic for good.
You are not broken, and you are certainly not a fraud. Let’s look at the evidence.
Table of Contents
What Is Imposter Syndrome Exactly?
Imposter syndrome (also known as the imposter phenomenon) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”
First identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes, it isn’t a diagnosis; it’s a phenomenon. And it is incredibly common.
Did You Know?
According to the International Journal of Behavioral Science, an estimated 70% of people experience these imposter feelings at some point in their lives.
This means that in a meeting of 10 people, 7 of them are likely wondering if they are smart enough to be there—including the person running the meeting.
Signs You Might Have It
It’s not just “low self-esteem.” It is specific. You might be struggling with imposter syndrome if you:
- Attribute your success to luck or timing rather than ability.
- Fear that you won’t be able to repeat past successes.
- Feel like you are tricking people into thinking you are smarter than you are.
- Overwork yourself to compensate for your perceived “lack” of talent.
The 5 Types of Imposter Syndrome (Which One Are You?)
Expert Dr. Valerie Young identified five distinct subgroups of this phenomenon. Understanding which one you fall into is the first step to healing.
1. The Perfectionist
You set impossibly high goals for yourself. Even if you achieve 99% of your goal, you feel like a failure because of that missing 1%.
- The Trap: You feel that if you were really good, it would be perfect every time.
- The Fix: Learn to celebrate progress, not just perfection.
2. The Superwoman/Superman
You feel convinced that you are a “phony” among real colleagues, so you push yourself to work harder than everyone else to measure up.
- The Trap: This leads directly to burnout. You seek validation from how much you work, not the quality of who you are.
- The Fix: Validate yourself internally. [Link to SoulDairy post: The Art of Slow Living and Avoiding Burnout]
3. The Natural Genius
You judge your competence based on ease and speed. If you take a long time to master something, you feel shame.
- The Trap: You think, “If I have to try hard, I must not be talented.”
- The Fix: embrace the growth mindset. Effort is how you become an expert, not a sign that you aren’t one.
4. The Soloist
You feel that asking for help reveals your phoniness. You refuse assistance so you can prove your worth.
- The Trap: You equate independence with competence.
- The Fix: Reframe asking for help as a skill of resourcefulness, not weakness.
5. The Expert
You measure your competence by “what” and “how much” you know or can do. You fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
- The Trap: You constantly hunt for more certifications because you never feel like you know enough.
- The Fix: Realize there is no end to knowledge. You know enough to start.
Why Do We Feel Like Frauds? The Psychology
Why does imposter syndrome hit high achievers the hardest? It seems counterintuitive. If you have the degrees, the awards, and the praise, why don’t you believe it?
The Pluralistic Ignorance
We all struggle with what sociologists call pluralistic ignorance.
- We know how hard we struggle inside.
- We only see other people’s polished exteriors.
Because we can’t access other people’s internal doubts, we assume they are confident, and we are the only ones struggling. This gap creates the feeling of being a fraud.
Family Dynamics & Labels
If you grew up labeled as the “smart one” or the “hard worker,” you might feel pressure to maintain that image. Alternatively, if your family didn’t value your natural talents, you might feel like your success is a fluke.
Psychology Today – The Roots of Imposter Phenomenon
7 Actionable Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
You cannot just “wish” these feelings away. You need concrete strategies. Here is what has worked for me and thousands of others in the SoulDairy community.
1. Name It to Tame It
When that anxiety spikes, stop and acknowledge it. Say to yourself (or write it down): “I am having an imposter moment right now.”
Separating the feeling from the fact is crucial. Feelings are not facts. Just because you feel stupid doesn’t mean you are stupid.
2. Separate Feelings from Fact (The Evidence List)
Keep a physical “Hype File” or “Smile File.”
- Create a folder on your computer or a page in your journal.
- Every time you get a compliment, finish a project, or receive positive feedback, save it there.
- When imposter syndrome strikes, open the file. Look at the hard data.
3. Change Your Language
Refrain from using minimizing language.
- Don’t say: “I just got lucky.”
- Do say: “I worked hard for this, and the timing worked out.”
- Don’t say: “Sorry to bother you with this question.”
- Do say: “I have a question to ensure I’m on the right track.”
4. Visualization: The “Fraud” Is Usually a Ghost
Imagine the worst-case scenario. If you were a fraud, what would happen?
Usually, the fear is, “Everyone will point and laugh.” The reality? You might make a mistake. You will fix it. Life will go on. Making a mistake doesn’t make you a fake; it makes you human.
5. Stop Seeking External Validation
This is the hardest one. If your self-worth is tied to your boss’s praise or Instagram likes, you are on a rollercoaster.
Start a daily practice of self-validation. ask yourself: “Did I do my best today given the energy I had?” If the answer is yes, that is enough.
[Link to SoulDairy post: How to Journal for Self-Discovery]
6. Adopt the “Learner” Mindset
Carol Dweck’s research on Growth Mindset is the antidote to the “Natural Genius” imposter type.
Instead of trying to prove how smart you are, focus on how much you can learn. When you don’t know something, don’t panic. View it as an opportunity to expand your toolkit, not a sign of incompetence.
7. Talk About It (Break the Silence)
Remember the statistic? 70% of people feel this way.
When I finally told my mentor, “I feel like I’m totally underqualified for this role,” she laughed and said, “I feel like that every Tuesday.”
By voicing it, you take away its power. You will be surprised how many people will say, “Me too.”
🛑 Interactive Check: The “Reality vs. Feeling”
Take a moment to fill this out mentally or on paper.
| The Imposter Thought | The Objective Reality |
| “I only got this job because they were desperate.” | “I got this job because I passed 3 rounds of interviews and have the required skills.” |
| “If I ask for help, they’ll know I’m dumb.” | “Smart people ask for help to save time and get results.” |
| “I fooled them again.” | “I delivered high-quality work that added value.” |
Life Record Reflection: Rewriting the Narrative
At SoulDairy, we believe your life is a record worth keeping—and worth editing.
Imposter syndrome tries to write a tragedy where you are the villain deceiving the village. But you have the pen. You can edit that story.
I still have moments where I feel like that junior writer terrified of hitting “publish.” But now, I treat imposter syndrome like an annoying passenger in my car. I know he’s there. I hear him complaining about my driving. But I don’t let him touch the steering wheel.
You have earned your seat at the table. Pull up a chair.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q: Does imposter syndrome ever go away completely?
A: For many, it doesn’t disappear entirely, but it becomes manageable. As you gain experience and confidence, the “voice” becomes quieter and less frequent. You learn to recognize it as a sign of growth, not failure.
Q: Is imposter syndrome a mental illness?
A: No, it is not a classified mental disorder in the DSM-5. It is considered a psychological phenomenon or emotional experience. However, it can lead to anxiety and depression if left unchecked.
Q: Can men have imposter syndrome?
A: Absolutely. While early research focused on women, recent studies show men and women experience it at similar rates. Men often feel more pressure to hide it due to societal expectations of confidence.
Q: How do I help a friend who feels like a fraud?
A: Remind them of their factual achievements. Be specific with your praise (e.g., “You handled that client well because you are a great listener,” not just “You’re great”). Encourage them to separate feelings from facts.
Q: What is the opposite of imposter syndrome?
A: The Dunning-Kruger effect is often cited as the opposite, where people with low ability overestimate their competence. A healthy balance is “Realistic Confidence”—knowing your strengths and owning your weaknesses.
Conclusion
Overcoming imposter syndrome is not about becoming arrogant; it is about becoming accurate.
It is about looking at your life record and acknowledging the work, the late nights, the resilience, and the talent that got you here. You didn’t slip through the cracks. You climbed the ladder.
Key Takeaways:
- You aren’t alone: 70% of people feel this way.
- Identify your type: Are you a Perfectionist or a Soloist?
- Facts over feelings: Use an “Evidence List” to combat doubts.
- Growth Mindset: Not knowing everything is okay.
Tell me in the comments: Which of the 5 “Imposter Types” do you identify with most? I’m definitely a recovering Perfectionist. Let’s chat below!